assbutts-in-purgatory:

OK SO IM 99% SURE THERES SOMEONE HACKING INTO MY COMPUTER  SO NATURALLY I DID THIS

BUT GET THIS WHEN THEY OPEN IT ALL THEY WILL SEE IS

0ceanofdarkness:

This makes me giggle like an idiot!

LET ME DIE

before-series-three:

there’s this unspoken law in britain that you’re not to phone anyone while doctor who’s on, and it was on and the phone rang and my brother was the one that had to pick it up, and he didn’t even say ‘hello’ or anything, he just picked it up and went, “WHO THE FUCK IS RINGING WHILE DOCTOR WHO’S ON?” and the person on the other end went, “DOCTOR WHO’S ON? I’LL CALL YOU BACK!”, and hung up.

We don’t even know who it was, I just—

So my dad and I were watching doctor who and my mom walks out 

• Mom:  I don't even get why you guys like this doctor guy he's not even that handsome-
• Dad:  EXCUSE YOU. DAVID TENNANT WAS VOTED ONE OF BRITAINS SEXIEST MEN ALIVE AND HE IS THE LONGEST RUNNING DOCTOR BESIDES TOM BAKER
• Dad:  CHECK YOURSELF WOMAN

needsmoreyellow:

my mom wAS ON A DATING WEBSITE AND CALLED ME OVER TO SEE THIS AND I’VE BEEN LAUGHING FOR LIKE 15 MINUTES STRAIGHT

xsnappapplex:

yetibait:

janecrocker:

canon jesus is way cooler than fanon jesus

canon jesus was a sassy middle eastern guy who literally said “did i fucking stutter” and hung out with prostitutes

fanon jesus is just some boring white guy who sits around hugging lambs

Just be careful who you say that around. His fandom has literally killed people for disagreeing with their head-canon.

Legitimately the most perfect thing ever ^^

steadymobbing:

steadymobbing:

i asked my mom how she met my dad and she said at a college basketball game this guy got distracted and got hit by the ball and got a huge bloody nose and he came up to her after the game and said “i was distracted by you” with like blood all over his face and jersey

so i asked my dad and he said “my friend told me he’d give me 10 bucks if i asked a girl out with my broken nose and she said yes”

deduction-to-seduction:

deduction-to-seduction:

hiddlesbatchlove:

deduction-to-seduction:

You’ve been playing with fire, mother. Prepare to get B U R N E D

I’VE BEEN LAUGHING FOR 10000 YEARS

Update: My mum came home. It’s a good thing I did this in the bathroom because she nearly peed herself when she saw it. After she finished laughing she turned to me with this dead serious expression and whispered

“This means war”

and silently walked out of the room

Guys I’m scared shitless I think my mum is gonna kill me in my sleep

UPDATE: I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND MY COMPUTER BACKGROUND WAS CHANGED TO THIS

WITH A STICKY NOTE ON THE KEY BOARD THAT SAYS

“I am the oncoming storm”

HELP

justsmilestuffhappens:

rennoc92:

volunt-spei:

iwantasnack:

taengthehero:

The water bottle sold me. Very nice touch.

WHAT IS THIS MY BRAIN DOES NOT COMPREHEND IT.

Turn your head sideways.

forced perspective photography?