OK SO IM 99% SURE THERES SOMEONE HACKING INTO MY COMPUTER SO NATURALLY I DID THIS
BUT GET THIS WHEN THEY OPEN IT ALL THEY WILL SEE IS
This makes me giggle like an idiot!
LET ME DIE
there’s this unspoken law in britain that you’re not to phone anyone while doctor who’s on, and it was on and the phone rang and my brother was the one that had to pick it up, and he didn’t even say ‘hello’ or anything, he just picked it up and went, “WHO THE FUCK IS RINGING WHILE DOCTOR WHO’S ON?” and the person on the other end went, “DOCTOR WHO’S ON? I’LL CALL YOU BACK!”, and hung up.
We don’t even know who it was, I just—
my mom wAS ON A DATING WEBSITE AND CALLED ME OVER TO SEE THIS AND I’VE BEEN LAUGHING FOR LIKE 15 MINUTES STRAIGHT
canon jesus is way cooler than fanon jesus
canon jesus was a sassy middle eastern guy who literally said “did i fucking stutter” and hung out with prostitutes
fanon jesus is just some boring white guy who sits around hugging lambs
Just be careful who you say that around. His fandom has literally killed people for disagreeing with their head-canon.
Legitimately the most perfect thing ever ^^
i asked my mom how she met my dad and she said at a college basketball game this guy got distracted and got hit by the ball and got a huge bloody nose and he came up to her after the game and said “i was distracted by you” with like blood all over his face and jersey
so i asked my dad and he said “my friend told me he’d give me 10 bucks if i asked a girl out with my broken nose and she said yes”
You’ve been playing with fire, mother. Prepare to get B U R N E D
I’VE BEEN LAUGHING FOR 10000 YEARS
Update: My mum came home. It’s a good thing I did this in the bathroom because she nearly peed herself when she saw it. After she finished laughing she turned to me with this dead serious expression and whispered
“This means war”
and silently walked out of the room
Guys I’m scared shitless I think my mum is gonna kill me in my sleep
UPDATE: I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND MY COMPUTER BACKGROUND WAS CHANGED TO THIS
WITH A STICKY NOTE ON THE KEY BOARD THAT SAYS
“I am the oncoming storm”
The water bottle sold me. Very nice touch.
WHAT IS THIS MY BRAIN DOES NOT COMPREHEND IT.
Turn your head sideways.
forced perspective photography?